Quick update on the forgiveness challenge: I’ve been able to totally forgive some people and not look back at what they did to me. It worked even better than I thought. This challenge has however opened my eyes to the kind of relationship I have with some people and how they actually see our relationship.
Some people will keep offending me because they do not value me the way I value them. I believe that friendship means wanting the best for the other, encouraging the growth of the friendship through actions. However, I’ve noticed that some people I call friends do not care about our friendship or about my welfare. They are not friends I can rely on. They do not put in any effect to help me when I need it. This is quite a disappointment for me because I try as much as possible to be there for them. I do not mind going out of my way to make a friend happy. I’m not saying this to boast. This is how I was brought up. This is who I’ve grown up to become. Another failed part is respect. Respect is reciprocal. But it seems some people have either missed this or successfully ignored it.
Now, how do I intend to deal with this? It hurts. It’s disappointing. It scares me from making new friends and trusting them. It scares me from being me, from giving my best at being the good friend that I ought and want to be.
The best way, I’ve discovered, is to limit such friendships. That doesn’t mean you’ve to become rude or mean. I’ll help when I am called to but I will try to keep my distance. It’s being close to the person that gets me hurt and disappointed so keeping my distance will keep the frequency low. And the distance and less hurting will help me forget the pain and forgive them. I don’t have to see them every time to be reminded of my pain. Limiting their access also helps you learn not to rely on them or expect anything from them.
Channel your energy where it’s needed. You derive motivation from that.
Had any experience with this issue? Share with me below! I need every tip that’ll make the forgiveness challenge go better where possible.
Thanks for reading!