Blood vs. Romance

Blood vs. Romance

Have you ever been in a situation where your introduction to your partner’s family was not as warm as you had hoped for it to be?

Have you ever experienced your family’s vehement opposition to a relationship because of certain reasons?

Family is a very important pillar in one’s life, especially one that is closely knit and constantly in communication. Because of the vital role the family plays in one’s life, it is quite easy to feel torn and caught in the middle. Here are few tips on how to deal with the situation:

  • Stay calm: Yes, you want to scream out in anger. You feel  belittled and treated unfairly. You feel you are mature enough and capable of choosing your own partner and should be allowed to, after all, you are the one in the relationship with your partner, and not mom or dad. BUT, such battles are not won with fights. Such fights compound issues and can even destroy or strain  the family bonds. So, show your maturity  to your family by letting them know you ackowledge them as your haven of love and support and that you value their concerns for you. This approach helps you listen to what they have against your partner and also enables you to think them through.
    Observe: In your calm mode, keep your eyes open. If you are a Christian, ask for guidance and a sharpened sense of discernment from God. Take your time to analyse the relationship. Ask yourself whether the relationship has longterm essence. Establish the existence of the ‘flaws’ – i.e. the things that make your family or you concerned. Ask yourself whether you can cope with your partner’s ‘flaws’ in the future. Love alone is not enough so try to be as realistic as possible.
    Be open, firm and determined: After your observation, you may have arrived at the decision to let the relationship go. This decision doesn’t necessarily mean that things between you and your family will be smoothened out automatically if your now past relationship caused rifts between you and the family, which is why you should follow the first step and not compound issues. You can’t lose on both ends. However, you would have learned to appreciate their involvement in your decision making.
    If after your observation you decide to stick with your partner, be sure of your partner’s commitment and determination to prove your family wrong and themselves worthy of you. Evaluate the situation and decide on how much distance or closeness is appropriate for peace to reign on both sides. Once you and your partner are determined to stay together against all odds, you should give your family some time and space to process the change and be convinced as well. Because hey, you can’t deny it, it is a double win when you have your family’s approval. Your relationship is more enjoyable when both parties – family and partner – can relate cordially with each other. It’s blissful to say the least.

What does the rejected partner do to salvage the situation?

  • Prove themselves: There is nothing more you can do apart from enduring and proving yourself worthy of their family member. Sometimes it is not YOU per se, but certain circumstances, ideologies or fears.
  • Stay calm: No one will feel confident in having you constantly around their loved one if you do  not respect them or show them that at least, you are not one to abuse their family member. Losing control only gives you negative points See their opposition as a challenge and work on overcoming it. Do not force your partner to choose you over their family.
  • Observe and calculate: Yes, you too need to observe. You can’t convince certain people on certain issues. That is one thing you need to clarify: “Is their reason for not accepting me tangible?” Be honest with yourself. “Do you understand them? Would you do same or worse in their situation?” Then: “Is your partner worth it?” Look beyond the love and scrutinize the person and the relationship. You can’t be going through all that for nothing.

Through it all, as a couple, you need to communicate openly and be each other’s strength  because: whatever will be, will be.

Dilemma: She says she has a boyfriend, but I really like her.

Dilemma: She says she has a boyfriend, but I really like her.

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Thank you so much for your mail.

First: the girl. She’s shown you (almost) beyond doubt that she’s in a relationship. The fact that her partner is not around makes her miss certain things that she would do with him if he were to be around. And that’s why you got that kiss. Her feeling guilty and telling you is a sign that she values her relationship with her partner more than what she has with you.
Now you: how would you feel if your girlfriend was kissing another guy because he’s close enough? Yes, put yourself in his shoes.
And then, think of how the relationship will be in future if you can’t put yourself in his shoes. Would you be able to trust her?
You can make the decision to stop these feelings for and keep your distance for a while. Give her the space to make a sincere decision on who she wants to be with to avoid your being used as the stand-in boyfriend.
All the best.

Gallery

Linda Ikeji vrs. Wizkid: Is the war really over?

Is it really that deep?

It’s quite obvious his little cousin would never beat her up.

She said even worse things threatening to damage his career.

Anyways, in my opinion, wizkid won.

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Wizkid and the Nigerian celebrity blogger Linda Ikeji have not been cordial following the latter’s publications of his baby mama and eviction stories. Wizkid didn’t let the  publications slide. After another story on his eviction from his home which led to the singer’s posting  insults on the blogger’s instagram page threatening to send his cousin over to beat her up, the blogger filed a police report. They were both invited to chief police commissioner’s office in Lagos.

Here’s her side of her story: She filed the police report because she was threatened with harm. Her action would stop Wizkid from threatening other ladies. Moreover young men should know abusing ladies is not the right thing to do.

Here is Wizkid’s side: The police is your friend. Quick question: Whose? His or Linda’s?

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Here is the response of a reader on Linda’s blog: Why are you such a hypocrite Linda?

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And Twitter Naija: We don taya una!

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Guest writers are welcome

Guest writers are welcome

Hi everyone,

I know. It has been ages. I have been caught up with school work, love and too many ideas that prevent me from writing.

But tonight, I just decided to go ahead with one of the plans and invite the guest writers officially and welcome those who have submitted or are preparing their articles as well.

Special thanks to Nicolas Dassah for his first submission. I personally look forward to more. And yes, it is supposed to be interactive. Don’t be shy to give the authors feedback, encouragement and your opinion.

If you do want your work published on mamizzle.com, simply send me an email @ mamizzle233@gmail.com

 

xoxo,

Phoebe

Feeble Heart by Nicolas Dassah

Feeble Heart by Nicolas Dassah

It has been a long time since I entered a church, other than the love cathedral that is my heart, but with another heart break, I find myself venturing inside the walls of the Roman Catholic Church near my home. With a quick glance around I slip into the confession box. The old wood creaks as I sit down and a hoarse voice comes through the little window to my right. “How can I help you my son?” the voice asks.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been many years since my last confession and I fear for my soul,” I begin, with a notable tremble in my voice.

“Continue,” the voice gently encourages.

“Father, my confession today is that I dislike girls with a passion. I have tried to like them in the past. I really have.

“I have seen a number  since I turned 20. I marvelled as my mate single-handedly (that is not a reference to anyone) won the heart of this girl in 2008

   “I felt the disappointment as I crashed out on this girl to a douche. Then I felt great elation as I failed to love again. I have sat through countless meaningless emotions

   “Why do I feel this way? Is it so wrong to dislike girls? Why do others make me feel I have sinned against my heart.” Tears are close to slipping from my weary eyes; my head slumps forward onto my chest and I await an answer.

“My son,” the Priest begins gently, “there is nothing for you to repent of here.

Girls are dull and tedious to be with. I would be surprised if you could name five girls in the past 10 years that have actually excited you in the same way as women do. Who do you love?”

“Seyram ,” I reply proudly. Already my spirit feels lifted.

“There you go. You’ve been brought up on a diet of flowing and beautiful love that girls  just cannot live up to – especially those who don’t appreciate you. Do you fear for their safe return from their Exes?”

“I do. The days between  are fraught with anxiety. I hope no one picks up a broken heart that rules them out for months on end. I’ve seen it happen before and often wonder why girls break hearts so close to the end of Vals. Why schedule them in squeaky bum time?”

“Your concern does you credit my son. You are not alone in your fears. Seyram is the bread and butter to many men. Ignore those who say you are wrong. Each is entitled to their view on this matter. You may go.”

“Thank you Father.”

Leaving the church, I feel my soul has been cleansed. It is not wrong for me to dislike ungrateful girls after all, but please God, let everyone return home without a broken heart- well, unless they are wicked, heartless or blind that is!

 

About the author:

Nicolas Dassah is an ordinary man who believes in God Almighty. Lifetime Manchester United fan. One of the best moments of my life was seeing Paul Scholes score a volley.

Review: London Virgin Hair by Mamizzle

Review: London Virgin Hair by Mamizzle

Hello everyone!

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If you want to purchase either Peruvian or Brazilian Hair Extensions, contact them on londonvirginhair.com and save 10% off your entire purchase with the mamizzle10 discount code.

Thanks for watching ladies,

xoxo